Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Saving the World in High School

Okay, if you're a guy, don't read this. You aren't allowed to. This preface won't be effective at all...

I've developed a way anyone in the world can make said world a better place. This kind of depends on your moral boundaries and whatnot, bug if you think you can manage it, do so.

The overwhelming of High School students are ridiculously horny, it's a fact. Boys and girls alike are itching to get some action, no matter how much they deny it. Unfortunately, religious stigma and societal views frequently prevent any action from being done to dispel these urges. This is unacceptable.

So here's my proposition. Any horny teenage girl, identify someone that you think is crazy-hot, walk up to him, and propose this:
  1. The two of you become 'friends with benefits'
  2. Whilst fooling around, give each other friendly constructive criticism
  3. Have fun
Those things aren't too hard, right? Not only does this arrangement result in some mindblowing, good times between to consenting teenagers; it increases their sexual prowess and knowledge. Sexual deities will emerge from social populations who participate in this plan, spreading the orgasmic awesomeness of this to others throughout their lifetime.

(Guys shouldn't read this because ladies are the only ones that can set this plan into motion. A guy can't approach a girl and say "I think you're hot; let's fuck" without getting slapped and/or sued.)

I'm sick of the stigma that has been given to sexuality over the years. It's time Americans go through another sexual revolution, similar to the one we experienced when Victorian ideals were abandoned. This plan furthermore increases the morale of it's participants. Sexual frustration will be nonexistent. Crime rates will drop. The world will be good.

Together, we can save the world. Are you willing to help?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ben, this is THE DUMBEST FUCKING IDEA EVER! have sex and then discuss so you get better? so basically, get girls pregnant until we ruin the world instead of saving it...good idea, dummy. wow, i cant believe i was begging for this dumb of an idea....FUCKING STUPID!!!

Ben Goering said...

As though contraception doesn't work?

I think you're failing to realize that the impossibility of enabling this plan forces me to present it with tongue in cheek. Therefore, overly-aggressive comments such as this are not only uncalled for, but simply annoying.